9 weeks update

How Far Along: 9 weeks today!

How big is our little bean: size of a grape (a small one — not american sized)

Total Weight Gain:  1 kg so far

Maternity Clothes: My order from GAP arrived in 10 days.  🙂  I’m wondering if maternity pants are the way to go in general — so comfy and I love the big elastic band.  It’s a bit big but I love it!  I also got a bella band over the weekend so I’m sorted on bottoms for now.  Tops are still fine although I need more work tops that doesn’t have to be tucked in.

Sleep: Still 8+ hours of sleep required every night.

Other Symptoms: Same nausea and a bit of an upset stomach.  I got some medication from Dr. N which I’m waiting to start when things go south.

Best Moment this Week: Our 8.5 week scan on tuesday.  Seeing our little bean – or gummy bear.  We had one healthy heartbeat and there was nothing better in the world to see that it was doing well.

Movement: Too early

Food Cravings: still mostly food adversion although I had this strange craving for jelly over the weekend.  Oh, and sweets.  I carved and had a sugar donut on monday — which I promised to limit myself to one a week. 

What are You Looking Forward to this Week: Our mini getaway in town this weekend.  Since I’ve been banned from flying indefinitely, we are hopping into a taxi to travel 10 min away to stay at a hotel overnight and pretend we are on vacation.  Sad but it might just do the trick.

8 week 5 day scan

We had our 8 week scan yesterday. At the dr’s office, they noted that we were at 8 weeks and 3 days whereas my calculation showed 8 weeks and 5 days. Anyhow, I’ll stick to my convention for now.

So the scan showed that we have one healthy looking gummy bear measuring 18.3mm (8weeks and 2 days) with a strong healthy heartbeat (even faster than last time).  It even had small buds which the scan was able to capture.  We also saw the second sac which was empty and looked so small compared to the first one.  Our second one didn’t make it.

I wasn’t quite sure what to expect going into the scan — either to be in limbo coming out of it with the same state as last week or if we’ll end up with one.  We are definitely relieved that the 2nd one was able to let go early on to give its twin a stronger fighting chance.  Yet I feel sad that it took the sacrifice of one to get there — even though it’s likelihood of survival was limited.  But coming out of the appt, I am definitely relieved that we have clarity and can move on.

So — our next scan is in 3 weeks time at 11weeks.  It’s actually called an OSCAR and it is bascially an anatomy scan + blood check to check for anomaly that can indicate risk for Downs Syndrome etc.  This will be done by another dr. and hopefully we’ll get an indication if our little blob is healthy or not.  Then 3 weeks later, we get our 14 week anatomy scan to basically cross check everything again by yet another dr.  We’re keeping everything crossed that our little blob will pass his tests.

Now, let’s see if we can last 3 weeks without a scan.

Our gummy bear on the right

8 weeks update

How Far Along: 8 weeks

How big is our little bean: size of a kidney bean

Total Weight Gain: last week there was no weight gain. Not sure if I’ve gained any weight over the last week.

Maternity Clothes: Still wearing loose clothes.  Tight pants are making me really uncomfortable thanks to my pouch that grows over the course of the day.  Is it possible to have water retention in the belly?  I caved and bought 3 pairs of maternity pants from GAP — well, they were on sale and are all for work.  It’s being shipped from the States so it’ll be here in a month or so – hopefully just in time.  GAP in Singapore doesn’t carry any maternity wear. boo.

Sleep: Still 8+ hours of sleep required every night. 

Other Symptoms: Nausea around the days with the shots.  Plus I’m getting super sensitive to smell — enough to make detours to get to less smelly toilets these days.  I am getting to the point where I think I might just hurl one of these days.

Best Moment this Week:  Remembering that I have my wonderful husband who is supporting us through this uncertain times – and that we will always have each other to go through the roller coaster of emotions.

Movement: Too early

Food Cravings: I still have serious food adversion and 90% of the food doesn’t sound good.  I’m trying to eat small meals but worry about my protein and calcium intake.

What are You Looking Forward to this Week: This week to be over and next tues to come soon for our 2nd U/S (although it’ll be nice to have a long weekend)

7 week 5 days update

I feel nauseous.  I can’t figure out if it the double doses of progesterone shots (proluton + pregnyl) every monday and thursday or if it is morning sickness kicking in.  I thought I was going to gag on cereal and milk this morning.

The food aversion is definitely here to stay as well.  Nothing sounds good and we’ve been eating out because I’m sick of the limited repertoire of food we know how to cook at home.  I can’t  even look at my favorite recipe blogs anymore because just the mere thought of the food makes me want to gag.

And I want to cut my hair short again.  I was sooo tired last night I couldn’t bother drying my hair thoroughly and went to bed with wet hair.  I think I passed out right away.  Poor hubby had to find a clean towel so the pillow didn’t get wet.  Washing my hair and drying it is really becoming a chore I’m tired of. 

Ok – whining over.  Thanks for listening.

1st U/S (6 weeks 5 days)

We had our first ultrasound scan last night.  This was definitely a tough 2 weeks wait but we waited patiently and even made it through the 2 hour wait to see Dr. N.

We quickly got down to business.  Dr. N scanned and right away we saw our first sac and a much smaller second sac.  We saw a tiny blob on the left corner of the sac with a beating heart and a ping pong ball looking thing which is the yolk sac.  The sight was amazing — the pulsing heart.  The heart rate looked pretty healthy although we didn’t do any no measurements.  Dr. N even turned on the sound (simulated sound).  Blob #1 measured 4.9mm (6 weeks 2 days).

Then we looked at the smaller sac and right away, the smaller sac looked small regardless of how we looked at it.  My heart just sank — something looked off. 

The smaller sac had a little blob as well with a beating heart but the heart rate was noticeably slower and a yolk sac that was much larger than the one with blob #1.  In this case, the yolk sac took up more than half the sac and much larger than the ping pong ball.  Blob #2 measured 2.9mm (5 weeks 6 days).

Dr. N sat us down and explained to us that we have a twin pregnancy but blob #2 is not likely to be viable because of the enlarged yolk sac — in this case big is definitely not a good thing.  Also, the heartbeat is not strong.  He basically shared with us that blob #2 is likely to be chromosomal abnormal and not likely to be viable.  The end outcome is that it’ll miscarry.  In this case, the earlier the better so the impact on blob #1 will be minimal.  The tough part is that if blob #2 does make it through the 1st trimester, the anatomy scan later will likely show structural abnormality like Downs etc. so an earlier outcome is better.  All we can do is wait and hope for healthy ones.

It’s been a tough journey this last few months and another emotional battle to fight.  The only thing is that we can hope for healthy ones and look for the positives whichever the outcome — which will be close to impossible.  I hold a faint hope that our little fighter is just a slow starter and everything is ok but we also know that the likelihood of such miracle is very limited.  DH feels that we should look for healthy one and he is right but at the same time, I feel guilty giving up on blob #2. 

To top things off, I am banned from traveling – period.  So no weekend getaway and no 2 week vacation planned with the family in the mediterranean.  We can’t even get away from what we’re dealing with here.

Oh – and I now get a Pregnyl shot to go with my 2x weekly proluton shot – in the butt.  DH tried the nurse’s trick – leaving the needle in while switching the syringes.  It saves me from another stab but the shot itself hurts more.  And I think the progesterone overload is making me sick.

Next u/s in two weeks – July 27.

6 weeks

I’ve decided to start logging every week how things are going.  the first edition…..

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How Far Along: 6 weeks!

How big is our little bean: size of a sesame seed lentil {correction}

Total Weight Gain: Not sure. I’ve been eating non-stop and I haven’t been particularly active. Will weigh in at the RE’s office on Tues.  Eek!

Maternity Clothes: Not yet although I have developed a pouch from my laziness and am wearing looser fitting clothes from my closet.

Sleep: I feel quite tired constantly and need at least 8 hours a night. I had to only get up 1 time during the night so far to pee. 

Other Symptoms: Some beige brown discharge last week for 2-3 days. Nausea on and off mid-week.   Just to share, I have mixed feelings about morning sickness. My mom had extreme nausea when she was pregnant with all 3 of us for the entire pregnancy and even though I would love to skip the morning sickness bit, I am also looking forward to just a little bit of it as it is reassuring that things are ok in there. Twisted huh?

Best Moment this Week: Booking a long weekend getaway in early Aug for some R&R (rest and relaxation). I hope our RE clears us for traveling.

Movement: Too early

Food Cravings: None

What are You Looking Forward to this Week: 1st ultrasound scan on Tuesday (6 weeks 5 days) to visually confirm pregnancy. I am dying of curiosity and trying to find excuses to go earlier.

5 weeks (15dp5dt)

Beta #3 (20dpo): 4903.5

More than doubled again.  No more betas until our 1st ultrasound on the 13th when we will be 6 weeks 5 days.  We’ll try to be patient in our 2nd 2ww (2 weeks wait).  🙂